wedding pictures fiasco

VERY LONG POST WARNING

Remember I posted about learning the hard way about family and business. Well, here is the story. And I’m really just venting here so be forewarned.

A little background info. to get you started: This involves my cousin R & her now husband T. R and I grew up hanging out summers at grandmothers – saw each other on holidays. Typical. And we are about a year apart, so that works well. We went to Europe together in high school on one of those tours. She lives in Atlanta, don’t see her very much now, except for random family events. Asked me to be in her wedding when she got engaged (over a 1 ½ years ago). Delighted. I’ve only met husband T maybe 2 times prior to wedding, and they had been dating for oh about 4-5 years.

Now, 2 summers ago, my grandparents had an 60^th anniversary party in Savannah. FI had just gotten a new, very nice digital camera and it was becoming a hobby of his. He offered to take pictures for us at the party – just to help out and he wanted to kind of practice with camera. Fine, he takes great pictures and I send a CD to each of the aunts and uncles, just as an easy way for them to have access to the pictures. For free, no big deal. Pictures are beautiful, everyone fawns over FI, they are so happy and appreciate of the pics. Great. On my side of the family, he is officially the photographer.

Fast forward to now, FI has gotten A LOT better with his camera, has invested more money in it – has taken some portraits for friends. Somewhat of a hobby, he is interested in having it maybe become something more. So, in October cousin R asks if FI would be interested in taking pictures. I run it by him and he says Sure – would love to but wants to go over some things with cousin R first. Fine, he looks up all the professional photographers websites and chat rooms to see how they approach photographing a wedding (b/c it’s a BIG undertaking). He is very passionate about his pictures and the quality of the work and he tells her this. He wants to do a wonderful job and tells her that he will be buying some more professional equipment and a fellow photographer friend will help him. He emails her and calls her regarding all of this and says he will charge her $800 for everything – work all day, including cost of assistant, a set of prints for the couple and an online gallery where everyone else can buy pictures.

Now, as you wedding ladies know, this is a bargain, especially in Atlanta (and please believe me when I say his pictures are worth SOOOO much more). He was upfront with her about this the entire time (because I was the one who said you know make sure she realizes that you are more experienced now and won’t just be giving away CD’s to all of the guests). SO, he reiterated that point to her several times, saying that there would be an online gallery for anyone to buy prints off. Which, is pretty standard practice from what I’ve seen now. Also, for those of you who may not know – photographers do have rights to their pictures and many wedding photographers turn over digital files (on a CD) to their clients a year to date from the wedding. This is essentially the photographer handing over the rights to the pictures and waiting a year ensures that the couple doesn’t make copies for everyone. Also, a lot of more ‘old fashioned’ photographers – ones who I guess just haven’t made the online leap, charge for the time working, charge for a proof book (a set of prints) usually a couple hundred dollars and THEN charge for every print ordered. So, cousin R is getting a great deal and FI goes over this with her and doesn’t feel the need to make a contract because she is my trusted cousin.

FI orders a few new items, a better flash, studies wedding photography books, makes me sit down so he can practice taking pictures of me outside and inside. We meet with cousin R and husband T in Atlanta to go over everything a few months before wedding, where FI says again, “I won’t be giving you all a CD but I will give you a set of prints and will have an online gallery available – once again, fine no big deal – no one questions this idea.” Wedding approaches, FI has to somewhat bug cousin T about details, like what kind of pictures she wants, how many people are in the party, where the event will be…etc. All she really wants is to make sure that most of the wedding party pics will be taken before the ceremony, so that after FI could just wrap it up, take a few more with bride and groom and move on the reception. FI puts a schedule together, emails her again with the schedule of the day, reiterates his plan for the online gallery. Makes business cards for the wedding guests with gallery website and password.

Wedding day. FI and his friend/assistant work their asses off, sweating running around, stressed out – wanting to make sure they get every shot they can. I have to force them to take a break to get a bite to eat because they don’t want to miss anything. Announce at the reception that pictures will be online gallery so check them out in a couple weeks So they work from about 3-12 midnight getting every perfect shot. Everyone’s impressed at how hard they work etc.

So, FI – in two weeks, edits all of like 1200 pictures they took, down to about 650 of the best. Puts them on the online gallery, sends out emails. About a week later, he gets a call from husband T (who has had no previous interactions regarding pictures), which says we are going to need a CD with JPEG files for viewing our tv and computer. No big deal, says FI, I can give you a low resolution slide show of all the pics (easy for him to put together) and send it to you. Then, husband T calls FI back, cursing him saying, “We want our f-ing pictures now, give me my f-ing pictures, who the hell do you think you are – etc. “ It was bad and FI just hung up. FI is upset and pissed that this guy who has has met once is berating him over the phone. I don’t know the guy at all, so I’m just really shocked at the behavior. FI is frustrated because he is trying to explain to T that a CD file of pictures would really negate all of the agreements they had in the first place. (Also, T keeps saying the just want to the CD to look at on their computer – but there is only one reason to be ‘requesting’ JPEGs – for printing) FI comes up with some ideas which include them paying a price for the Jpeg CD. Husband T sends back a pretty disgusting and insulting email, in my opinion, saying that FI is holding the pictures hostage, that the pictures are their personal, how they feel betrayed and how this is pretty much ruining the family. Not to mention the insulting voicemails that he leaves FI in that 24 hour period. I'm pissed. I think its pretty low down to “use” family as an excuse, when T has never attended family events, has never bothered to visit or meet our side of the family & within the first year of FI & I dating, that entire side of the family had either met him or had dinner with him. But FI taking the higher road, has not mentioned family at all because he realizes that is just not worthwhile.
FI doesn’t want to give up the CD because first, he specifically said NO CD, he told them many times he was not going to be giving anyone a CD, second because the way T is treating him does not make him want to take any action at all. Finally cousin R calls me, apologizes for T’s behavior, says they just want the CD for their own personal use, promises not to use them for printing – says she understands that is FI’s concern, says she is willing to wait for the CD and willing to sign something saying they won’t print off of it. I say ok lets get this solved, come up with a plan where we will send them a copy of prints (which FI always said was a part of the deal and is not going to back out of his end) along with a low resolution CD only for viewing on tv and computer, then in 3 months send them the jpeg CD. She emails him back once again apologizing for T’s behavior (whom she admitted to me on the phone HAD NOT even seen the pictures), complimenting the pictures and saying thanks. Meanwhile, not a single person has bought pictures from the online gallery (its been about 3 weeks). Weird, considering we thought that the parents and grandparents, at least, would want a few pictures. FI can see how many views the gallery has gotten – 670 times that people have logged onto look at pictures. Weird, like is everyone waiting to just get the copies from the CD?

Its not about the money, FI added up all of his costs, including the hours he worked, and he’s basically spent $700 of his own money to shoot this wedding. He realizes that everyone won’t buy pictures online, but he at least thought family members would buy a few, if anything a recognition of the work he has done. I feel horrible. Absolutely horrible and angry, that someone would treat FI like that, after all of the work he has done. I feel horrible about my cousin, what am I supposed to do? I’m over husband T for his behavior, I trust cousin R but why aren’t people buying pictures. Did we do something wrong? What happened here? It’s just a horrible situation all around and we have a bad taste in our mouth because of it. We should have gotten a contract (I know, I know) but really this was unforeseeable.