Ok, I need some serious etiquette feedback on this one!
I'll set this up for you - I have two very best friends (hometown, since middle school) who both got engaged within a month of each other. So exciting! They are both getting married in about 9 months, again about a month apart (the weddings, that is). There are about 6 of us in this group, still very tight, all of us each others bridesmaids. But, only one of us lives in the hometown - the rest of us live at least 3 hours away, if not more. So in the midst of all this excitement, my 2 newly engaged friends & their mothers decide to plan a bridal luncheon for me this summer - yay! (And a few of my other friends and their mothers are going to do a shower, the same day).
Now, my mother and I want to hold a shower/luncheon for my friends. The question is, can I do a duo shower for the both of them? My reasons for this idea are because I will be in the midst of planning my own wedding (and will be out of town for it the week and half before, not to mention, the week after for our honeymoon) this summer - so, not a lot of time. Like I said before, we all live at least 3 hours away, have full-time jobs or full-time school - so it is really hard to find time for all of us to get together (hence, why they are holding my shower and luncheon the same weekend - so we could all be there). Furthermore, their families are already planning engagement parties and such, so weekends are getting scarce. I realize that the shower is to honor the bride herself, but would this be a huge faux-pas?? I'm hesitant to do it, but at the same time, I know it will be hard to schedule two different times (esp. since they both have big families who will be throwing them showers as well).
Let me know what yall think! I don't want to be tacky but I also want to be able to give them a fun party with our friends in celebration!
10 comments:
Honestly, no I would not do a duo shower, unless both brides suggest it themselves.
I understand the time restraints, and we had this same issue many times with my group of friends. One of my best friend got married a month before me, celebrated her 30th birthday, and throw easter in there as well. We ended up doing things like a Saturday shower in the am and then another at night, or a Saturday shower and then a Sunday brunch one. We even did Friday night showers, and threw in two bachelorette parties in there too. I know it is a pain, but I do think that every bride should get their own time to celebrate.
I agree with Mrs. P. If the girls don't specifically ask for it, I wouldn't do it.
I will say, if you planned a couples shower for both and their fiances, I think that lends itself to a more informal environment that would be better for a dual shower?
Hmmm...I'm tempted to go with no in this situation. I'm sure they would have some guests in common they would like to invite but others that were not in common and those guests would probably not enjoy a shower where they had to watch someone they didn't even know open their gifts, etc. Plus as Mrs. P said I'm sure each girl would enjoy having their own special time to celebrate. But I also agree with Preppy Wedding that a more informal couples shower would lend itself better to being shared if you really want to go that route.
Thanks for the feedback, I was leaning towards no because I do want them to have their own time, I like the idea of a couples shower, though.
I would lean towards no, too. I understand the problem. I have 4 of my pledge sisters getting married in the next six months and weekends are crazy. My bridal shower is on one morning and another friend is throwing a couples shower that same night for another friend. I have to admit it hurt my feelings at first because said friend decided to not be a hostess for my shower...but that is another story. I realized that there is just too much going on and we have to share. If the brides suggest it, I think it is fine to have a duo shower, especially if the people invited to the shower are all mutal friends of both brides. But, I would let them come up with the idea. Good luck and let us know how it turns out!
Hi! I'm new to your blog - found it through all of these other preppy bloggers. I don't blog, but love to read and sometimes respond!
I will agree with everyone else. A bride shouldn't have to share anything with anyone!!!!! I believe it's the one time in life you can be selfish.
If they suggest it sure, but otherwise I would just plan two separate parties. Good luck!
I'm a little late in replying, but ...
I understand your logic, but I would advise against it as well. I agree with Mrs. P. Every bride wants to feel as if every celebration in connection with their wedding is THEIR special day.
I too am a little late responding. I would have to agree with the others as well. Although it does sound like a fun idea and it would be easier, this is the one time for the bride to shine. I waited for awhile to get engaged, and I would be really bummed if I had to share my bridal luncheon with another bride. Good luck on trying to get it all figured out! I know it gets crazy!
I wouldn't do a dual bridal shower for the reason that each bride wants to feel that she is the most important person at the events that she is attending celebrating her marriage. This might take some of the shine off of each bride. I understand the reasoning behind it but this is just my thought.
We chose to make a weekend out of a college friend's parties since everyone was coming from out of town. We had two showers for the bride on a Saturday. We had the party where the majority of the attendees lived, but still had several out of town guests. We had the day time shower around 11, "Monograms and Mimosas", then had the lingerie shower/ dinner/ and the bachelorette party that night, starting around 6:00. We called that the "Lingerie Shower and Girl's Night Out." There was enough time in between to shop for out of towners, set up for the next party, etc. The bride invited less people to the lingerie and bachelorette party. She wanted it to be more intimate with her "intimates." (:
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